Can We Please Not Have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Culture War?

I don't ask a lot. I don't really ask anything. Absurdities come and go. I roll with what I can and let the rest fade away. We're similar in that regard, aren't we? We won't agree on everything, but we're adults who ultimately respect each others' tastes and accept — resentfully or not — that in this destabilized, hyper-reductive cinematic climate, even such fare as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot has a place in our culture. It's big enough for all of us! So with this in mind, and in light of the vicious media sparring currently underway among the TMNT establishment, can we please, please just lay down our nunchucks and let this skirmish go?

To wit, can we please not make an international incident out of producer Michael Bay's context-free acknowledgement that "[t]hese turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable"? Judging by the fan reaction, you'd think that Bay proposed changing the heroes to rabbits or literally stomped on a live turtle in the middle of the Nickelodeon upfronts.

And to that point, can we please no longer spotlight the bottom-feeding likes of Robbie Rist, who provided the voice of Michaelangelo in the original live-action TMNT films and who inveighed against Bay [via TMZ, of course]:

"You probably don't know me but I did some voice work on the first set of movies that you are starting to talk about sodomizing. [...] I know believing in mutated talking turtles is kinda silly to begin with but am I supposed to be led to believe there are ninjas from another planet? The rape of our childhood memories continues ...

Source: http://www.celebrities.com/celebrities-gossip/can-we-please-not-have-a-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-culture-war/

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Jay-Z & Kanye West Settle Copyright Infringement Case

Jay-Z and Kanye West have to be feeling a little more joyful than usual -- because the hit-making duo has settled a federal lawsuit over their song "The Joy" ... TMZ has learned.The "Watch the Throne" rappers were sued last October by Syl Johnson for…

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Source: http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/11/kanye-west-jay-z-syl-johnson-lawsuit-settlement/

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Katy Perry Parties in Paris, Denies Beyonce Diss

Taking care of some promotional duties, Katy Perry was spotted at the Canal Plus TV station in Paris, France last night (March 20).

The ?Hot N Cold? songstress was in the house to record an episode of ?Le Grand Journal,? and took a few minutes to sign autographs for her fans before heading off to EMI for a showcase.

Later on in the evening, Ms. Perry and her entourage hit up the Montana Nightclub where Baptiste Giabiconi, Katy?s rumored boyfriend, also showed up.

And during an interview on BBC Radio 1, Katy took a subtle, perhaps unintentional shot at Beyonce Knowles' collaboration with Shakira ?Beautiful Liar? when asked about a duet with Rihanna.

"I want it to be like that Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin song 'Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves,? not ?Beautiful Liar.? How disappointed would you be if that song came out and it's no good? Sometimes you have to wait for greatness."

Denying any such diss at Beyonce, Katy later took to Twitter to write, ?F*** all y?all (press) dat thinks I dissed anyone, puhlez, u havin a slow news day or what?! Get a life, cuz it?s not mine! #hoodratcominout."

Source: http://celebrity-gossip.net/katy-perry/katy-perry-parties-paris-denies-beyonce-diss-596775

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Larry David -- I'm Locked in a Parking Garage ... And I Can't Get Out!!! [VIDEO]

There's a reason Larry David plays himself on TV -- and he proved it Sunday in L.A. with a hilarious real-life "Curb Your Enthusiasm" moment ... getting himself trapped inside a parking garage ... and TMZ has obtained the footage. The clip was shot…

Source: http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/21/larry-david-trapped-garage-video/

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Pitbull -- If Ryan Seacrest Didn't Sue Me, Lindsay Lohan Shouldn't Either!

Pitbull is invoking the little known 'Seacrest Defense' in his legal battle with Lindsay Lohan -- claiming in new docs that if Ryan Seacrest didn't sue him for mentioning him in a song ... LiLo shouldn't either!As TMZ first reported, Lindsay is suing…

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Source: http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/19/lindsay-lohan-pitbull-lawsuit-ryan-seacrest/

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John Cena in Car Accident -- Ok to Fight The Rock at Wrestlemania

John Cena was involved in a car crash today -- the fomer WWE champ was rear-ended by a tractor trailer, but we're told he's ok and his epic upcoming fight with The Rock is not in jeopardy.Cena was traveling in an SUV in Philadelphia when he was hit.…

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Source: http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/19/jon-cene-car-accident-the-rock-wwe-crash/

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